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Things People Do in the Metro

I usually try not to pay too close attention to what other people are doing in the metro. I do what I do, which is: a) read, b) look at my map to figure out where I’m going, c) listen to my MP3 player, d) sleep (or pretend I’m sleeping), e) try and discreetly check my hair in the glass reflection, or f) look for eye-candy to distract me.

But once in awhile I actually notice some bizarre things. And I don’t mean the usual bizarre things, like people making out or drunks throwing up or gypsy kids pick-pocketing tourists. I mean things that enter into the personal hygeine realm…

For example, putting on eye-liner. I can’t even do this in my bathroom without smudging, let alone on a crowded, moving metro. But whatever. It doesn’t make others cringe (unless maybe an eye got poked out in the process…that would be gross). But last week I heard a noise (it was an MP3playerless day) that, at first, I thought sounded *exactly* like…clipping. NAIL clipping, to be precise. It’s such a distinct noise. But ewwww….how gross is THAT in public? Couldn’t possibly be that. I turn around. Yes it could. And it was. Ewww.

And only two days later, different metro line, I hear another familiar noise. Zzzzzzzzzzz…..So familiar, yet completely out of context. For a moment I think it’s an electric razor, but then again, there are so many electric devices that buzz. I turn around. Apparently if there was ever a game show for "name that hygiene routine sound", I’d win. A guy was actually shaving his FACE on the metro.

Now I know why metro workers go on strike.


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